Staring at the sun sau, in traducerea mea, Privind fix la soare este o carte ce trateaza anxietatea in fata mortii si cum sa o depasesti. Irvin Yalom, autorul acestei carti, este un profesor de psihologie de la Universitatea Stanford si un cunoscut psiho terapeut si scriitor.
Cartea doreste a face diferenta intre frica de moarte pe care o simtim cu totii si teroarea cu care unii se pot confrunta in diverse stadii ale vietii. Teroarea este cea care acapareaza fiinta umana, ii influenteaza alegerile si o priveaza de liniste.
Dr. Yalom considera ca frica, gandurile legate de moarte sunt inhibate din primii ani de viata si pana la pubertate, ca apoi acestea sa erupa brusc, in adolescenta: unii se gandesc la sinucidere, altii prefera roluri de executori in jocurile video sau vizioneaza filme horror. Altii sfideaza moartea asumnadu-si riscuri foarte mari.
Pe masura ce adolescentul se maturizeaza, frica de moarte este inlocuita cu alte doua preocupari majore: intemeierea unei familii si construirea unei cariere. Apoi, pe la mijlocul vietii, frica de moarte revine: uneori in planul constient al individului, alteori mascata de alte frici/trairi.
Titlul acestei carti este o paralela intre greutatea de a privi fix soarele si greutatea de a te confrunta cu gandurile despre moarte.
De aceea, multi dintre noi ne formam metode prin care sa diminuam teroarea. Unii sunt salvati de o credinta puternica in D-zeu, altii se proiecteaza in viitor prin intermediul copiilor, altii se imbogatesc, devin faimosi etc.
Sunt multi totusi care pur si simplu nu pot sa faca fata acestui sentiment. Dr. Yalom ne da acces, in cartea sa, la multe sedinte de terapie avute cu indivizi mai tineri sau mai batrani, mai mult sau mai putin constienti de acest sentiment si ofera cateva metode de a accepta acest moment din existenta fiecaruia.
Iata cateva paragrafe care mi-au captat atentia:
While reflecting on the plane home about the reunion, Barbara had an epiphany that permitted her a new perspective on death. Perhaps death was not quite the annihilation she had thought. Perhaps it was not so essential that her person or even memories of her person survived. Perhaps the important thing was that her ripples persist, ripples of some act or idea that would help others attain joy and virtue in life, ripples that would fill her with pride and act to counter the immorality, horror, and violence monopolizing the mass media and the outside world.
It is only what we are that truly matters. A good conscience, Schopenhauer says, means more than a good reputation. Our greatest goal should be good health and intellectual wealth, which lead to an inexhaustible supply of ideas, independence, and a moral life. Inner equanimity stems from knowing that it is not things that disturb us, but our interpretations of things.
… you can take with you from this world nothing that you have received; you can take only what you have given. A secular interpretation of this drama (este vorba aici despre o drama religioasa medievala numita Everyman) suggests that rippling—that is, the realization of your good deeds, of your virtuous influence on others that persists beyond yourself—may soften the pain and loneliness of the final journey.
The way to value life, the way to feel compassion for others, the way to love anything with greatest depth is to be aware that these experiences are destined to be lost.